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If LOCOG ran the NHS…

Olympic fever has hit our office in Bermondsey, and it’s got us thinking about the similarities between the health sector and the Games. In the first ever NHS Olympics, we’ve imagined some of the Olympic-level games happening across the health service now.

Introducing the NHS Games 2012:

Long Jump – NHS civil servants hoping to make the leap to a job at the National Commissioning Board.

Pole Vault – FT applications – every time you think you’ve got there, someone raises the bar.

Handball – The Olympic sport that everyone forgets – aka mental health.

Relay Race – Interim CEOs being continually passed the baton of failing hospitals.

Marathon Running – Social Care – a long, drawn out affair.

100m – Outsourcers sprinting to the new CCG finish line to claim their gold.

(Trouble) Shooting – Anyone managing healthcare in the Woolwich area.

Archery – All those NHS bean counters hitting the target and missing the point.

Pentathlon – No one understands the components, just like the HSMR.

Kayaking – CCGs trying desperately to avoid the choppy waters ahead.

Badminton – Integrated care organisations trying to lob their patients back over the net and into hospitals.

Gymnastics – The balancing, fancy footwork and bending over backwards required by CCG leads.

10m Diving – The private sector taking the plunge into the unknown that is the NHS.

Synchronised Swimmers (aka treading water) – Acute trusts not yet ready to become aspirant FTs.

Trampoline – The cost of long term conditions jumping higher and higher…

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